Our production schedule is simple: one full blog article on Monday, one video post on Wednesday, and one “either/or” on Friday. It’s fairly easy to manage this under normal circumstances.
But unfortunately, not so easy when something like Amazon’s The Rings of Power is being released. Especially when this highly anticipated series looks, from one promotion, more like a Middle Earth Soap Opera.
You see, Damper Three belongs to a fairly conservative branch of Tolkienism. We have the credentials: we’ve read the Hobbit more times than we can remember, the Lord of the Rings several times, and the Silmarillion twice. Yes, TWICE.
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| This is what we were doing in High School instead of dating. |
But we’re not fundamentalist Tolkienites at all, demanding unflinching interpretations of the original books. Middle Earth is a vast world and we believe that it’s possible to fill in the pantheon of lore in creative ways and still be true to Tolkien’s masterpiece work.
For instance, some have griped about including non-whites into the Elvish race. “That wasn’t how Tolkien imagined them!” is the stated argument. But it’s a lame argument. The power of Tolkien’s vast mythology does not hinge on some elves having golden hair and others black hair. But you know what it does need? People to enjoy it. And so inclusivity shouldn’t be a problem for something that you already know is not canonical Tolkien anyway.
Just give us a good story.
Middle Earth Soap Opera
Having said that, we’ve been looking at the upcoming Rings of Power with a certain amount of dismay, and have spent considerable energy trying to remain open-minded. Why? If you haven’t already seen it, check out this little bit of released video (a promo from Entertainment Weekly):
apparently this is the intro for the new LOTR show… this is what $750 million buys you pic.twitter.com/Jdod3nyVag
— Celestial Stud (@BigGulpAmerikan) August 31, 2022
What the heck was that? It looks like the intro to a Middle Earth soap opera. Days of our Elves, or maybe One Immortal Life to Live? Guiding Light of Earendil? As The World Turns Into Another World?
The funny thing is, we tried to find a clean version of this on YouTube, but it was impossible. Too many folks had already uploaded their versions, edited to look like soap operas. Go ahead and do that…it’s hilarious.
Bottom line: we didn’t get a full-up article written.
But we did produce a new Jacks of no Trades video! And in the end, isn’t that the true article?
We’ll be back to our usual schedule next week. Have a great Labor Day!
If you liked this non-article, check out some of our other humor, satire, and pop culture posts:
- The Greatest Peter Sellers Spoof You Never Heard Of
- The Best Indiana Jones Quotes of all Time
- The Best George Lucas Film You’ve Probably Never Seen
Like videos? Check out more of our Jacks of no Trades humor
- My Dad Was a Dirty Highwayman Thief
- Top Weight Loss Strategies or Ways to Hate Life
- Sir Cumference and the Gift of Dad Jokes Revisited