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Five tips for the perfect Fourth of July celebration

Posted on July 4, 2022 by damperthree

There’s nothing more American than celebrating Independence Day by detonating thousands of tons of Chinese fireworks every 4th of July after having consumed massive amounts of seared animal flesh compressed into “burger” and “dog” forms. But it takes more than just burned animals and explosives to celebrate, and that’s why we’ve got these tips for the perfect Fourth of July celebration.

This is normally a festive time, when Americans of every stripe celebrate the rights we all cherish. This year, however, many people seem to feel adrift, as social upheavals and national divisions have forced us to really consider what it means to be “American.”  It’s times like this that it may be helpful to remember: George Washington didn’t lead a rag-tag group of outgunned rebels against the world’s mightiest empire just so the people of this country could light firecrackers, bottle rockets, and sparklers. He did it for the barbeque and mattress sales. So go celebrate, you liberty-loving maniac!

Also, check out our other recent suggestions for those perfect holiday moments. True, the specific holiday may have passed, but now you can get a super early start preparing for Fathers Day and Mothers Day next year with these suggestions to capture those special memories.*

*Special memories may or may not be traumatizing. 

Photo by Daryan Shamkhali on Unsplash

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